I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize