if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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