Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
