Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
