rhymes with "ouble enetration"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize