quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
