I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
