She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
