I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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