we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
