Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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