just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i out mim tonsoeep
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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