No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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