Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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