My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
