and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
