your thong is hanging out like whoa
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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