btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a search helicopter?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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