Im at strip club and am horny
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
