his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
