it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
