her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is the high leading the old right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
