I accidentally had phone sex last night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
