JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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