im having a threesome with these popsicles
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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