I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
