She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
