If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
