Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
