There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
