Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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