is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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