Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I could fuck to npr.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
