You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
