Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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