I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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