so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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