This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
