wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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