Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
