I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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