Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He better not be in your backpack
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize