Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
