even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
