check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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