woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
