But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
