FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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