Her vagina should come with caution tape.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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