Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize