it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
