I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
