OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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