Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize