Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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