if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
