Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
