awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
