In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize